I went through a personal tragedy a few months back. Everyday since has been a reminder of that tragedy that struck me and my family.
On my way back home yesterday, I was looking outside the window of my bus, and recollecting the events (yet again!) of that day and a few of the days that followed. All of a sudden, thought about the different reactions from the people in my family struck me. It made me think that people can be broadly divided into the following categories.
A. Those who face any sorrow and tragedy stoically.
B. Those who just can’t face the sorrow; become uncontrollably lost in their sense of loss and need to be consoled by others.
C. Those who appear to take the situation very bravely, but tend to lose it at some instances.
I call this third category, “The Hybrid” variety of people, because they are a mix of the other 2 categories. And in the course of those few days, I realized that I fall into this “Hybrid” category. Since I fall into this category, I thought I could be an “authority” to comment more on this kind (by taking a leaf out of my reflections on myself). These folks will themselves to be strong to be a support system for the category B people around them. But since this is not second nature to them, they tend to break down at times. These are the times when they lose sight of the people around, and think of their own loss. At times like this, having category (A) people around you is the only respite.
I’m proud (?) to say, a couple of my brothers turned out to belong to the category A. I started to analyze their behavior in everyday life, and see if I could draw a line between the two. Things I noticed about them are: they tend to talk less among us cousins. They are always all ears to any thing you have to tell them.
Now, to the things I noticed about category B. This set comes across as very strong individuals in the daily interactions. They are more talkative than the previous category too.
Coming to the hybrids, let me talk about myself. I am a very talkative person. I don’t know if I come across as a strong individual, but I want to believe I do. There are times when I just keep quiet and reflect on things, even in a crowd. So does that make my behavior a hybrid one too?
Moving on, what are the things that make you fit into one of the categories? I again looked at myself for answering the question for the hybrids.
(1) When I thought only about myself and the loss in my own life, I fell weak. I needed to be comforted.
(2) When I rose above myself and saw the scene around me, I realized I was not alone and more importantly there were others around me who were still in condition (1). These were the times when I willed myself to be strong.
Extrapolation of these 2 conditions gives a vague description of categories A and B. Category A – Are they the ones who have risen about the rest. Are they at a higher altitude than others? Category B – Are they like the frog in the well? Do they not see the world outside of themselves?
B. Those who just can’t face the sorrow; become uncontrollably lost in their sense of loss and need to be consoled by others.
C. Those who appear to take the situation very bravely, but tend to lose it at some instances.
I call this third category, “The Hybrid” variety of people, because they are a mix of the other 2 categories. And in the course of those few days, I realized that I fall into this “Hybrid” category. Since I fall into this category, I thought I could be an “authority” to comment more on this kind (by taking a leaf out of my reflections on myself). These folks will themselves to be strong to be a support system for the category B people around them. But since this is not second nature to them, they tend to break down at times. These are the times when they lose sight of the people around, and think of their own loss. At times like this, having category (A) people around you is the only respite.
I’m proud (?) to say, a couple of my brothers turned out to belong to the category A. I started to analyze their behavior in everyday life, and see if I could draw a line between the two. Things I noticed about them are: they tend to talk less among us cousins. They are always all ears to any thing you have to tell them.
Now, to the things I noticed about category B. This set comes across as very strong individuals in the daily interactions. They are more talkative than the previous category too.
Coming to the hybrids, let me talk about myself. I am a very talkative person. I don’t know if I come across as a strong individual, but I want to believe I do. There are times when I just keep quiet and reflect on things, even in a crowd. So does that make my behavior a hybrid one too?
Moving on, what are the things that make you fit into one of the categories? I again looked at myself for answering the question for the hybrids.
(1) When I thought only about myself and the loss in my own life, I fell weak. I needed to be comforted.
(2) When I rose above myself and saw the scene around me, I realized I was not alone and more importantly there were others around me who were still in condition (1). These were the times when I willed myself to be strong.
Extrapolation of these 2 conditions gives a vague description of categories A and B. Category A – Are they the ones who have risen about the rest. Are they at a higher altitude than others? Category B – Are they like the frog in the well? Do they not see the world outside of themselves?
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1 comment:
Catharsis is never easy and when it is on a personal tragedy, sorrow courts this already Herculean task. It is good to see you dissect and analyze what your responses were to this tragedy. Acceptance of a possible fault / shortcoming in self is the first step to understanding self. In this age when over protective parents buy their kids pretty much everything - good education, a job, a good spouse all of which goes un appreciated and un heeded as that ability to hold oneself is never at the core, seeing sanity prevail brings a smile to this old hag.
Coming back to your hybrid question, life is never black or white but various shades of gray - a hybrid.
Peace out ! Keep writing from the heart...
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