Bangalore vs Doha: Which is better?

I'd say this is a common question thrown at me since I got to Doha a couple of months back. I don't think there is a definitive answer to it. Both cities has its own beauties and scars. No city is perfect, and to expect a perfect city is paving way for disappointment.

If you ask me what is good in Doha, I'd say there are a few aspects. The prime thing that comes to my mind now is the traffic flow. There are single lane roads here too, but at the junction of such roads is a roundabout. This ensures that people don't squeeze in their vehicles in any little place available, and cause traffic jams. Following the rules of roundabouts surely creates a smooth traffic flow. Another thing that I've noticed is the absence of urine stained walls. (You know what I'm talking about if you are from India. I don't know about other places though.) Roads are pretty much clean too. The desert sand is abundant on all roads, but not much of garbage lying around (may be I'll find that things are different if I visit the older parts of the city).

But what is the use of clean and neat areas when you hardly walk in this city. The only walk I do is getting to different rooms in the house, and from the house to the car and back. If you ask me what I miss the most about Bangalore, I'd probably say it is the walking. Walking for more than 2kms to reach college during my PU times seem priceless now. I miss the (crazy) auto rides. I miss seeing traffic jams because of the haphazard driving. Why do I miss that? Because once the offending vehicle moves out, it is a pleasure to see the way jams clear out.

All said and done, each city has its positives and negatives. The earlier you acquaint yourself to this truth, the happier you will be in the new place as well. Enjoy each city for what it offers and am sure you wont be disappointed.

I’m a hybrid! How about you?

I went through a personal tragedy a few months back. Everyday since has been a reminder of that tragedy that struck me and my family.

On my way back home yesterday, I was looking outside the window of my bus, and recollecting the events (yet again!) of that day and a few of the days that followed. All of a sudden, thought about the different reactions from the people in my family struck me. It made me think that people can be broadly divided into the following categories.

A. Those who face any sorrow and tragedy stoically.
B. Those who just can’t face the sorrow; become uncontrollably lost in their sense of loss and need to be consoled by others.
C. Those who appear to take the situation very bravely, but tend to lose it at some instances.

I call this third category, “The Hybrid” variety of people, because they are a mix of the other 2 categories. And in the course of those few days, I realized that I fall into this “Hybrid” category. Since I fall into this category, I thought I could be an “authority” to comment more on this kind (by taking a leaf out of my reflections on myself). These folks will themselves to be strong to be a support system for the category B people around them. But since this is not second nature to them, they tend to break down at times. These are the times when they lose sight of the people around, and think of their own loss. At times like this, having category (A) people around you is the only respite.

I’m proud (?) to say, a couple of my brothers turned out to belong to the category A. I started to analyze their behavior in everyday life, and see if I could draw a line between the two. Things I noticed about them are: they tend to talk less among us cousins. They are always all ears to any thing you have to tell them.

Now, to the things I noticed about category B. This set comes across as very strong individuals in the daily interactions. They are more talkative than the previous category too.

Coming to the hybrids, let me talk about myself. I am a very talkative person. I don’t know if I come across as a strong individual, but I want to believe I do. There are times when I just keep quiet and reflect on things, even in a crowd. So does that make my behavior a hybrid one too?

Moving on, what are the things that make you fit into one of the categories? I again looked at myself for answering the question for the hybrids.

(1) When I thought only about myself and the loss in my own life, I fell weak. I needed to be comforted.
(2) When I rose above myself and saw the scene around me, I realized I was not alone and more importantly there were others around me who were still in condition (1). These were the times when I willed myself to be strong.

Extrapolation of these 2 conditions gives a vague description of categories A and B. Category A – Are they the ones who have risen about the rest. Are they at a higher altitude than others? Category B – Are they like the frog in the well? Do they not see the world outside of themselves?

I met THE GOOD SAMARITAN

This is an incident that occurred on the 9th of April 2008. I should have written this when my memory was fresh, but this was such a wonderful experience that I keep recollecting it all the time, and I think the memory is as good as fresh now. So here goes.

9th of April 2008, Wednesday was a bright and sunny morning. The first day of the Vacation Bible School (VBS-2008) held at Mar Thoma Church, Primrose Road. I volunteered to teach at this year’s VBS, but with a lot of apprehension about my teaching abilities. All the teaching I’ve done is to a few 4-5 years old kids back in my church, over the past few months. I was constantly praying for a sign that all is going to be well, and I am not going to fail in my duties. There were signs, but I was my usual doubting self, and didn’t know if I should take them, or if they were just lucky co-incidences.

I started towards church on this morning, with my apprehensions in place. I had to reach the church before 8.30am. I ended up being ready to leave home by around 7.45am. Since the church is about 12-14 kms from my place, I was not keen on taking the chance of going by bus. So, decided on traveling by an auto instead. I reached M.G. Road by around 8.15am right in front of the Prestige Meridian. The roads were not much crowded, and there were a few pedestrians on the footpath too.

The charge on the meter was Rs. 77/-. I held out a 100 rupees note to pay the driver of the rickshaw.
Auto driver (AD): Sorry madam change illa.
Me: (Oh wonderful! Lemme check if I’m carrying some change) Oh hawda? Nan hathra idya nodtinni.

I started to open my purse, when a man came to the auto. I looked up and,
Man: Do you need change?
Me: Sorry?!?!
Man: Just checking if you needed change. I saw both of your conversation and thought you might need some change to pay for the fare. (Takes out a bundle of 10 rupee notes, counts them) Here you go.
Me: (completely astounded, flabbergasted) Thank you! Thank you so very much!!
Man: (still waiting) Well!!
Me: Oops!! I’m so very sorry. Here is the 100 rupee note in exchange for the change. (sheepish grin)
Man: Not a problem at all. (Pockets the money and walks away)

I am still reeling under the effect of the events that just took place.
AD: En manuSHya madam. Ee kal-dalli jana change idru, keldre kodalla. Anthadralli avre taanage banDu kotralla.
Me: niJa. (Paid him the fare.) Thank you sir.

I walk down to the church, with a smile on my face, talking to my Father. Thanking Him for a sign that I can’t just turn around and ignore.

Incase the person who helped me out is reading this blog, I want to tell you Sir, you made a wonderful impact on me that Wednesday morning, never to be forgotten perhaps. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN!!!

How may I help you saar?? or Have a good day!!

If you have ever stayed in a hotel in India (though I haven't stayed in a lot of places in India, I think what I am about to say is seen in almost all places), you'd have observed the way the people who work there treat you. They wait on hand and foot. They have a bell boy take you up to your room. I've seen that even the cheapest of hotels have a bell boy out here.

It was a stark contrast when I landed at a hotel in Texas. The only person working in the hotel that I interacted with was the receptionist. She booked me into the hotel and gave me directions to find my room. No waiting on hand and foot.

But what I realised when I showed myself to my room is that there were plenty of boards directing me. At a hotel in India, we hardly have sign boards. If you let a person go find his room all by himself, chances are that he will not find it till the end of ages. Things surely are so much more organized out there in America.

People there might seem very impersonal, but you never need to interact with any one on a daily basis. Things seem to be taking care of themselves. It might seem like a very bad thing, cos there is no inter-personal relationship. But I think it is better for a girl, who stays alone out there in America, to depend on the proper sign boards, rather than a person to get around.

But, no matter how impersonal people might seem, they are ready to wish even strangers a good day ahead. You come out of an elevator and see a person, voila, "Good morning!" or "Have a good day!" is bound to be heard. Try something like that here in India, and you are assured to get dirty looks and a lot of snickers.

Why is it so difficult for us "people persons" to wish a stranger to have a good day ahead? This is something that I will never understand. There have been so many instances when I've smiled at some one in the hallway at office, only to get back a strange look. But there was one instance when I was appreciated for being cheerful (:D folks who know me, will know who I am talking about :D) and this comment surely has become one of the most unforgettable moments of my life.

I'll need to put that into the list of things that I may never understand, and go on with life (like I have any other choice).

Solitude !!!

I'm sitting here, all by myself, in a foreign land, in complete solitude. This is a feeling that I had never experienced before. Gives me a lot of time to reflect on the little things of life and the major obstacles in life too.

Back home, I never realised how 24 hours sped by. And now, the same 24 hours seems like it goes on forever. Never thought that so much work could get done in a single day, and still have time for myself.

If only everyday could be like this. Solitude bliss!! :) or would that just remain another one of my wishful thinking.

Searching for my genie.

What do you do when u have an opinion about someone you've just had a patch up with???? Confront the person??? Talk about it to someone else, may be your best friend????

The above questions might have made no sense to you at all. Let me give you a background of what happened. I had a terrible row with someone I know. 'Twas a huge row and it took some real ugly turns. The initial cause of the row was completely the other person's fault cos of some perception problems. I tried my best to stay out of it all, but got pulled into it. I came out of it eventually, but not without giving a strong piece of mind to the other person.

Time passed, and my "friend" realised(?) his/her mistake and wanted to patch up. It was real tough to patch up after all that passed between us. But guess Christ gives you strengths you never realised you had. Then things started to move ahead between the two of us. I started to slowly iron out the creases.

And then all of a sudden, one day I get a mail which has indications of backbiting by that "friend" of mine. This was not explicitly stated.

I am now in a fix as to whether I should confront my friend or let it lay. If the information is incorrect, my confrontation can lead to strained relations once again, and this time it being my mistake, which is totally not acceptable to me.

Or, should I discuss my thoughts with my very good friend of mine. I'm scared to do that, cos it can result in my friend having a prejudice against the other person, which would be a very wrong thing to do.

Or, I wish I had a genie in a magic lamp. He could just jump into my friend's mind and get all the needed information out for me. (Yeah, I watch a lot of the Alladin cartoons.) Oh!! How I wish this could come true. But till then I'll have to be content with telling the whole world about it and hope (again!!!) that this causes no harm.

Did you attend his marriage???

Last week I heard one of my friends make a statement "I'm going to my friend's marriage".

I realise that I've heard this statement a lot of times earlier but had never given much thought to it. Now when I think of it, I wonder how can you attend a person's marriage? :-S You only attend 'the social event at which the ceremony of marriage is performed', a.k.a, The Wedding.

Marriage on the other hand, is the state of being a married couple. It is a state that is for life (or in our current social setup, until divorce). So how can you attend a person's marriage? Hmmm... I know I will surely attend (or be a part of) only my marriage, not everyone's.


Talking of marriages reminds me of all the groom finding circus happening at home for me. See the guy, talk to him and decide in 5 minutes or may be 15, if he is the person you want to spend your life with. I'm a nincompoop and can't even decide if a shade suits me in, 5 minutes, and now I need to choose a life partner in as much time. All my friends who've found their better halves say, you will just know when it happens. Interesting!!! However, all of them strongly mention that there no bells or sax in the background though. :) Well... Well... Wouldn't that have been something convenient. No hullabaloo about whether it is a right decision or not. :D

Guess, till I actually experience the feeling of "I know you are the person for me" feeling, I'll have to put on hold all my apprehensions and enjoy the moment. Being on an interview panel is not a daily job for me. So I could as well relish the encounters in store, till the finale.